42 Swaton

I have never blogged about my life before, but figured if I was ever going to start, now would be a good time. To those judgmental individuals that enjoy correcting grammar and punctuation... I would like you to know that there will be plenty to correct (I majored in business, not creative writing). Oh and to my dear sweet family that may be reading this... I am giving you all a fair warning that there will probably be cursing ahead (it's okay, we are all adults). So lets get started...

I moved to London a little over a month ago to begin working for a fashion wholesale company called, Somewhere Agency. When I got here, I had to live hotel-to-hotel for about a week. After a week of being homeless and carrying around three huge suitcases, a carry on bag, and a backpack, I had decided that enough was enough and I needed to find a flat ASAP. So I hopped on Spare Room and found what I thought was a beautiful, double bedroom flat in Shoreditch. I met the letting agent (Brigitta) the following day and she told me that the room I saw was actually not available, but that she would find me another one. She began by asking me what my requirements were and I listed the following:

1. No more than 35 minutes away from work.

2. In or near Central London

3. Washer and Dryer

She informed me that all the flats have both a washer and dryer and that it would be no problem finding me a place to live. She was right, within 30 minutes I had found a place that met all my requirements and I signed a lease. I did all of this without even going to see the property... yes, that was a very big mistake and I have learned my lesson.

My move in day arrived and I got to the property to find it looked nothing like it had in the pictures. The pictures made the flat look well-kept, clean, and bright. I walked into something slightly different...

The door to my room was busted in two. Although, this was annoying and inconvenient, I pushed it aside because it was the least of my problems. If you recall, I had asked to be no more than 35 minutes away from work, in or near Central London, and have a washer and dryer. I am an hour away from work and do not have a washer and dryer. To be fair though, I am only about a 15 minute tube ride from Central London.

I decided to run to Westfield Shopping Centre to grab some home essentials (hangers, sheets, pillows, etc.) When I got home I met my first and what I would soon find out was my only flatmate. Her name is Halima, she seemed very kind, but extremely timid. We have not talked much since I moved in, but she has certainly caused the majority of stress in my life. You see, Halima has a boyfriend who happens to be a huge dick. I would come home most nights to him yelling, slapping, and basically treating her like shit. He is the Donald Trump of Bow... except with out the money or the terrible combover. They were not only loud when fighting and arguing, but were also very loud in bed. Some people have received Snaps from me of their sexcapade noises being recorded and most of them asked me if she was in the same room as me. The answer is no, she is actually located across the hall. I started to refer to them as "sex addicts" and "the nympho flatmate" because they have sex 4+ times EVERY SINGLE DAY. I swear they are going for a World Record.